This Sunday was Senior Sunday at church. An annual tradition, the service features the talents of some special senior students involved in the youth ministry. My daughter happens to be one of those “super seniors”… if there was something going on at youth group she would likely have a leadership role.
Kaia’s been singing in the youth band ever since she was a freshman. That meant she was leading worship on Wednesday nights for middle school “Hang Time,” and Sunday nights for high school “Chill Out” for four years. So it wasn’t a surprise when she told us she would play a big part in Senior Sunday.
By the time we arrived at church on Sunday a.m., I was fit to be tied … once again the Hagberg’s were late. I swear I can hear satan chuckling every week as he throws up obstacles to get us off on the wrong foot before worship.
As we scrambled into the sanctuary,I realized they had already called the parents of the seniors up front for a special prayer time. ..Kaia looked relieved when she saw us moving forward.
After the youth pastor introduced each student, the band broke away and headed up front for a special music number. All parents were to lay hands on their kids, and for those of us with kids on stage we were to join them there.
Kaia was the primary vocalist on this song called “Find Your Wings” and her father and I stood behind the keyboard bench where she was sitting. Man, she sings like an angel… sometimes I forget that. Her singing normally makes me a little teary, but when I heard these lyrics, I absolutely fell apart. So you can completely commiserate with me, here they are:
FIND YOUR WINGS
It’s only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I’ll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I’ll want to know
You’re walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories
It’s not living if you don’t reach for the sky
I’ll have tears as you take off
But I’ll cheer as you fly
I stood up on stage in front of hundreds of people and sobbed. It was all I could do to keep myself from moaning out loud. I wasn’t the only one; there were women all over the place discretely wiping away tears and clinging to their little ones with death grips on their husbands.
When Kaia hit the last gut wrenching note she turned to me and said, “I guess I should have warned you about this song.” NO KIDDING!
Truth be told, I’ve been dreading these last few weeks of high school more than I can possibly tell you. Kaia’s my little girl … all grown up and ready to spread her wings. I’m heartbroken that she’s going to be leaving me to head off to Chicago for college in August. That’s a seven-hour drive, so I won’t get to see her much.
Kaia and I are tight; I think anyone who knows us will tell you that. While my husband Craig is of course my best friend, Kaia runs a very close second. I know I need to let her go, but honestly, I just don’t want to. I’m not ready!
How did the years fly by so quickly? It was only yesterday she was stuffing socks into her pockets, twirling around in the softly falling rain and sitting on my lap as I read her “I’ll Love You Forever.” Now she’s off on her biggest adventure and I can’t go along.
*break to blow my nose*
But, as they say, the show must go on. Next week we have the Baccalaureate service, then graduation and then her big grad party. I’ll probably blog about these experiences again, so get ready to cry. I know I will.